State of Mind

  No. It's a word we're all to familiar with. It's a word we use on a daily basis. And it's a word we've also heard people say to us.

  No stops things from happening. It's like a brick wall. Sometimes you can break through it. Sometimes you have to go around it.

  But what happens when you're the one telling yourself no?

  No is a strong word. And when you become to used to it, it can prevent you from doing the things that you want to do.

  It doesn't matter who doesn't believe in you. If you have their voice in your head saying that you can't do something, it becomes difficult to ignore. Especially if that person is family, a friend or your trainer. If they aren't behind you, supporting you, it makes it more difficult to try to achieve what you want.

  Now, what if you're the one trying to convince yourself that you can't do it or that you don't deserve to get to where you want to be? It's almost impossible to do anything proactive towards your goal. You become content with where you are because you believe you can't do better. No matter how much you want to be better.

  You can get stuck in a rut.

  That's sort of where I am right now.

  Being back in the saddle is something I've been trying to do for about 6 years now. I'm searching for the right trainer that can get me to reach my goals. And with every lesson, I'm slowly getting better. So I should be happy now. Right?

  The problem is that I have goals as to how advanced I'd like to be with my riding. And though these goals are good to strive for, I find myself slowly convincing myself that I'll never make it. With every lesson, I'm noticing that I'm not trying to improve as much as I'd like to.

  It doesn't help that this most recent trainer doesn't think I'm worth her time either.

  So I'm off looking for another new barn with a better trainer. And while I'm searching, I'm slowly working towards changing my mindset.

  I don't want to limit myself before I even have a chance to progress. And I definitely don't want to live with the what ifs when I'm older because I didn't try. I want to allow myself the chance to give it a go and see how far I can take it if I truly make an effort.

  So that's where I'm at, at the moment. Trying to change my frame of mind and move forward positively.

  I want to give myself the chance to believe in myself. Because if I don't, who will?

  Until next time, happy riding!